Why Ignoring Differences Is Actually Dangerous

A Caveat: Before getting into the flow of this post, I feel that I must put a disclaimer of sorts here. Due to the nature of this post I would like to say that I am all for equal rights (i.e. gay rights, women's rights, etc.). I believe that these movements are examples of groups of people who have been denied rights that never should have been denied. They have been denied human rights which I believe stem from the fear of differences.

Now with that out of the way, I'll get going with the flow of this post. Many times it seems that the topic of differences is a topic of great controversy. It presses these emotional buttons. I believe this is because when people discuss things such as the differences in sexes, cultures, ethnicities, etc. that it is discussed in a negative view point. By this I mean when we as human beings talk about these differences, we often frame it in such a way that it is perceived as a bad thing to discuss our differences. In my experiences, for me this stems from an unconscious belief that differences in people, sexes, whatever it may be is innately bad. Over the past year or two, I reflected on this and one day I woke up so to speak and I thought, "Differences aren't bad. They're simply differences and nothing more." That is to say that the differences themselves are neither good nor bad but that they just are. You see, I believe that what makes differences good or bad is our emotional assignment of good or bad.

I'll say that again.

What makes differences good or bad is our personal emotional assignment of good or bad.

Take a moment and let that sink in.

When we think about differences from this view point, I find that I am less defensive about the differences.

Let me give you an example of differences that are often extremely controversial when we go in with the mindset that differences are good or bad; that speaking of differences is looking to prove that one is better, more powerful, more efficient, etc.. We all know that there are clear differences between men and women. We even say that these differences go deeper than the physical sex organs. Yet, when a conversation about these differences arise there are often mixed reactions. Some are defensive (I have been defensive about various differences myself) and others are more open to the idea that these differences are innate. That they are ingrained into us--hardwired really (I'm talking differences that are purely due to a difference in the sexes and not our individual differences). Though this post is not about the differences of men and women (if you would like to better understand this differences I would like to suggest taking a look at www.thefemininewoman.com).

So how exactly does this get at the point? How does this lead myself to believe that ignoring differences is actually dangerous? 

You see, I believe that when we both actively and unconsciously ignore the differences that are present amongst many people across vast amounts of cultures that we further exaggerate our personal molds into what people should do, what they look like, what they should be. This is what makes ignoring of differences so incredibly dangerous. In my experience, we all have this expectations that people should behave in the way that we want them to. That they should do what we want them to do. That is to say that when we make differences wrong we close ourselves off to countless possibilities. We actively choose to make ourselves smaller. 

So what can we do about it?

I believe that embracing and genuinely appreciating the differences leads to a deeper understanding and a better ability to open ourselves up to openly and honestly connect with people from all walks of life. This leads to an expanding of our horizons and brings us a step closer to becoming the best man or woman that we can be.

Questions? Thoughts? Leave a comment below.